Sunday, July 11, 2010

The Unspoken Goodbye

The sun is coming up up. I can see a grey lit sky through the leaves outside my window. My neighbor's porch light is still on. I heard a faint sound at the door and looked out. The newspaper man's car slowly drove past my house. It must be the paper at the door.
So, I didn't sleep well. I'm disturbed and my feelings are hurt. Yesterday I discovered online that a gal I have been helping for over a year to find a house, a gal I helped go into contract, then terminate the contract, showed over 60 houses to (and that's pretty accurate) well she bought a house last month with another agent.
It's not the money that hurts. I know I'm weird like that. It's the fact nothing was said to me at all about it. She basically lied to me the last time I saw her when I gave her earnest money check back. She didn't return my phone calls, and she unsubscribed from my automated mls searches. I assumed she was busy, so I didn't pursue or pester her. It's not my way to harrass people. When they are ready to talk to me, they will. y

Doing a little real estate search there her name was having closed on a house not even a mile from my home. The odd thing is she paid $15,000 more than she insisted she spend on a house. There are some other odd things about which details I won't divulge on the internet. To not tell me that she was using another agent to look at homes is what hurts. I stupidly thought she liked me. I foolishly thought we had a relationship built on trust. I certainly worked overtime to earn that trust. I can understand people feeling uncomfortable when it's time to dump someone, but to just not say anything at all? In fact my mission statement is, "Bringing people together to achieve their life goals in a relationship based on trust and exceptional service." It is about the relationship with me. It isn't the money. I'm sure you're saying "yeah right." But those that know me well, know this is true.

These things happen in the real estate business all the time. I've only had it happen to me once before in 5 years. That guy at least called me and told me what he did. He later called me and said his pride had gotten the best of him and now he was afraid he had hurt the relationship. Loyalty is not something that is heralded in our culture. We all love our dogs because of their undying loyalty. But loyalty is actually frowned upon in our culture. "I don't owe you anything. I only owe myself what's best for me" That is the attitude. I've also heard, "It's not about loyalty it's about business." However, I know from personal experience (and a famous economics model) that loyalty is a good business practice for both parties.

These things happen all the time in the business. I know that. So, I can't let it get me down and discourage me from helping other people 100%. That's how I feel right now. Like why bother? If someone calls me today about real estate, based on how I feel right now, I might take an I don't give a poop attitude toward that person's questions and needs. I offer 100% loyalty to those who will give me the opportunity to serve them. I ask for nothing in return. I need to keep that good attitude! That's just the way this business works. Some people can't handle it. They can't handle working, spending hard-earned money, and giving up their family time and themselves for free and not knowing if they'll get rewarded for their service, investment, and time in return. Hundreds of people get their real estate license and wthin 6 months they are finished with the whole crazy mess.

I hang in there becaue of the people. If you can't help someone, then what good are you?

Had to get that off my chest. Outside my window I can see the whole yard now, and it's lighter and lighter.
I'll sleep again someday. Just had to unload this disappointment.

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