Monday, November 14, 2016

The Kindest of Nurture.

I have learned that only Jesus can nurture my soul and His nurture is solid and sure, penetrating to the deepest parts. There is nowhere I can hide my pain from Him and His arm is not too short to reach my need. I can ask and He will answer as He promised in His word. He will help me and assist me in every earthly and spiritual endeavor.  He is the Lover of my soul and the One for Whom I hope, and The One in Whom I can rest. He is my all in all, my ONLY Hope. There is no other. He is altogether lovely, and the star of my heart. He is the champion of my cause, my fellow sojourner, and my delightful Comforter. He alone cares for me with tender mercies and songs of deliverance. He is my beautiful dance partner and I can't live without Him.

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Dream from 3/29/2015 City in Crisis

A dream I had on 3/29/2015

I was living and working with my current broker. Yes, we were all "living" together.  We were working and living in an old three story brick building on the main street of our city. The building was built in the early 1800's and the first floor storefront was the office. We agents had our own small apartments on the second and third floors.  A major crisis had happened in the country and was happening right outside our building. It was a widespread crisis. It was a dangerous disaster on a grand scale. Or else it was an on-going war right in our own city streets.  The wind was blowing and I could see papers flying through the air. All the agents and myself were hiding in apartments all hunkered down in fear. The power was out. The sky was grey and menacing. As I was crouching down upstairs hiding, trying to be quiet with other fearful agents, in walks the adorable N-Y-B, top producer of our brokerage. She was wearing her little high-healed "hooker" boots and a leopard print skirt. She came strutting in, her blonde pony-tail bouncing. She had a stack of folders in her arms. She was relaxed and cheerful, and she wasn't disturbed by the papers flying every where in the street. She looked up at me, smiling, and said,  "We're going to make a lot of money now because of this!"

Monday, June 20, 2016

Jesus Healed my Eyelid

Updates on my life.
I haven't been on blogger mainly because I have had personal trials that I would rate on a scale of 1-10 as an 8, with 1 being easy and 10 being Hell. I don't know if I want to write about these personal trials on a public platform. At least not yet. The trials are difficult to write about. Only a couple people really know about these trials. My husband, of course, has to live with me. He has been a huge support. I will write about my living hell later.  Meanwhile, two things I want to share (these are not trials, please note.)

First I have written about "The Pain" on blogger before. It's called Trigeminal Neuralgia and I've suffered with this most of my adult life. I have been through periods of remission, thankfully. However, the condition is a real monster that I've had to cope with. My family has had to endure it and there are effects on my kids as they grew up with an afflicted mom. One reason I sell real estate is that I can often work from my home on my laptop and my phone. When I have to meet the public I can hide the pain and the condition for those hours with makeup and nice clothes. I can't hide always hide it during severe lengthy attacks. So, at times I've had to take taxi cabs to closings or have my husband drive me on my showings. I never tell clients or even  friends I have this condition. The reason is people don't want a handicapped real estate agent. That's just fact. Second, I don't like it when people ask, "how are, how are you, how is your head?"  I know they care but I don't want asked. It's chronic.  I just want treated like a normal person and I don't want it brought up that I live with this condition.

However! True Story here:  One day in November, 2014 my daughter Becca called me while I was in church. I listened to her voicemail and in an excited voice she said, "I have something exciting to tell you!"  I stepped out of the service and called her. She said, "Mom, Rachel S is having lunch with Reinhard Bonnke right now in Palm Beach." I thought, WOW. That is so cool. She said, "Rachel sent me a text and photo she took of Reinhard at the table in the restaurant. She asked if I wanted him to pray for anything and I told her to ask for prayer for my mom's headaches."  I was so touched that Becca would ask for prayer for me. Rachel S then video taped Reinhard praying and sent it to me. Reinhard prayed for me by name that I would never, ever have to suffer from these headaches again and then he blessed the food. In the video I can see he is there with a small table of 5 people. Becca believes Reinhard attends the same church as Rachel S parents when he is in Palm Beach. I was so amazed and honored.

Have I had "the Pain" since that prayer. Yes. HOWEVER, not as frequently at all. It used to rule my life and since then I've had long periods of being pain free. Also, attacks I've had lasted only a few hours. The longest attack was at New Years for two days. Attacks my whole life have always lasted 3-5 days with a recovery period of days. I know that I am healed, and I must continue to press into Jesus' finished work on the cross for the complete manifestation of my healing. I will be pain free permanently soon. I believe the myelien sheath that covers my trigeminal nerves is being restored and growing back. I believe that whatever caused the compression is being removed in my neck and jaw and brain.

I have another Praise God item to report:

I developed a growth on my eyelid right at the eye lashes. It was very noticeable and as my husband said, "unsightly." That was his nice way of saying "ugly" This was not a "stye" filled with puss. It looked more like a skin tag, but it was a growth sticking out and was an odd color, too. I tried to minimize it the best I could with makeup. I didn't fear that it was anything but a harmless, ugly growth. It grew and grew and there it was on my eyelid. I called my friend in the eyeball surgery business and asked what to do. She gave me a contact of an eye surgeon and plastic surgeon and told me that it's very real I'll lose my eyelashes permanently.

So I started to pray over my eyelid. I would set my mind on the cross, and the whipping post of Christ. I told the Lord that I know this is just vanity. Yet I wanted my eyelid restored.

One day I caught a Periscope broadcast of Daniel Kolenda and Reinhard Bonnke at the Atlanta Gospel Crusade. Someone was video taping on their phone with Periscope right from the front row. People were worshiping. I saw many people lost in worship and visibly experiencing the Holy Spirit's Presence and touch. It was very beautiful and I watched, worshiping along. Then the camera was on a woman in the front row in full worship. Arms outreached, singing, and really the beauty of the Holy Spirit was on her. She had a skin condition I had never seen before in my life. She was covered completely with large round bumps. Her face was completely disfigured from the bumps. My heart and soul reached out to her and I cried out to the Lord for her healing. I could see she had "accepted" her condition and her love for Christ was not going to change if she didn't receive healing. Honestly, she may not have been asking for healing. She looked so at peace. She looked like my age in her 50's. I prayed for her. I believed for her. My eyelid was absolutely nothing to her condition.  I just really fell in love with this stranger on Periscope. There was a beauty about her even though she had this physical appearance. She inspired me.

I did a google search and I actually found an article about the woman and she lives in either Alabama or Georgia (I can't remember) The article was written by a UK paper. There is condition people are born with that is relatively rare where the skin creates these bubbles. Her story said she became reclusive in her 20's as the condition became so severe. She didn't leave her home for a couple decades. One day a neighbor invited her to church. She went. From there the Lord began to give her courage to go in public. She taught Sunday School to the children. I was so happy to hear that! I rejoiced and cried when I read she was a Sunday School teacher to children.

So I began to pray for all people with this condition and especially this stranger. I do not know if she has had any change. I don't know if a cure has been found yet. I will  continue to pray for a cure!

Myself, I had decided to call the surgeon and make the appointment for my eye. It had been almost a year and this growth was still there. I looked in the mirror, put my finger on my eyelid and prayed again that my eye was healed. I thanked God that my eye was healed. I prayed for the woman in Georgia. Went to bed. In the morning my eyelid looked WORSE! What was that?!  Yet suddenly I felt "faith" on my face. I actually felt "faith." It felt like invisible butterflies. My mind filled with light and I looked at that eyelid and right before my eyes the growth began to vanish. Had I imagined it? I continued to feel "faith" on my face for most of the day. I could feel my eyelid was restored to normal. My thoughts were filled with light and love. This faith stayed on my face most of the day.

Then I would have a little doubt. Then I would reach up to touch my eyelid and I was afraid to touch it, that if I felt something I would lose the faith I had. I looked in the mirror a few times to be sure I wasn't imagining it.  The next day at the end of the day I finally asked my husband to look at my eye. He was astounded. He kept marveling that it was just "gone" That is amazing, he kept saying. My faith for the stranger has welled up in me.  I don't want Daniel or Reinhard to get any credit. Or me. In fact, the faith we have is not our own. It is a gift. I want Jesus to completely get the credit for my eyelid being restored without surgery. It may seem small. It may see like a frivolous or vain miracle. It is still a miracle.  The Lord was breaking through into my life to let me know He loves me. He cares even for unsightly growths. I now want to pray for everyone with skin conditions, whether it's acne or psoriasis, or growths like the woman in Georgia. I also feel like the Lord wants me to just rest in His love. Not do anything. Just really settle it that He loves me and He is not mean.

The End.

Monday, February 22, 2016

My Trip to Rockville, OH--Dream from 3-10- 2014

Hello, Blogger world. My real estate agent life has consumed my time, energy, thoughts. Writing on this blog has slipped away. I cried yesterday when I realized I let many of my life dreams stay in my daydreams rather than work toward them. I came to a conclusion that all that "follow your dreams," and "you can do whatever you want to do" talk is just bologna.

This post is not about goals or daydreams. I decided to record a dream from nearly two years ago. It was a dream in the night and I haven't even tried to decipher it's meaning. However, here is the dream I title "My Trip to Rockville, Ohio"

I found out there was a hospital and ski resort northwest of c-bus about an hour away that I didn't know about called Rockville. I saw it on the map and couldn't believe I never knew about it! So I went up there by myself. I left the place I was at. I was somewhere with extended family including my niece, Nikka,  We were all staying together in a hostel, or dorm, or small motel-flop-house type place with big windows that looked out on a cool looking location.

I left that place and I drove up to Rockville. It was a bit slow going through snow covered country roads but I made it there and it was busy. It was dusk and grey and overcast. Pine trees, tall skinny ones and the ski mountain was high, high up. It was basically one skinny mountain, but very steep and high. There was a tow rope to take you to the top and I grabbed on and up I started. I was surprised at myself that I was not freaking out or fearful or scared and I just hung on tightly and bent my knees and let the tow rope take me up.. At one point I was a little nervous when I thought I had half way yet to go and it was still so far to go up and so steep. Could I keep hanging on and riding it, I wondered.  I calmed my panic down and just hung on. Once at the top I don't have a memory of skiing down it.

I don't know what happened next.  Then I was in the ski lodge and it was really busy inside and crowded and I looked behind a door. There was a little resting bed in the small space. To my surprise behind the door Eminem (who really looked like the famous red-haired snow boarder) was resting there on the bed. Some people had the opinion I should leave him alone and ignore him and let the famous person be alone. However, he looked up at me and smiled and I said, "Hello! This is fantastic meeting you. I hope you are having fun.". He asked if had listened to his new album "X," He said, "this little Korean boy told me hasn't yet, and I'm disappointed. He knows some of the songs, though. Do you? Have you listened to X yet?" I couldn't lie and I was so embarrassed to tell him no I had not. He made a comment about me being old and white, so it's not my type of music. I said, "oh! No, I am a fan, I do like your music! My daughter will tell you, don't I like Eminem, Becca?" Somehow becca was there with me and she said, "yes she does like your music Eminem."

And then I had to drive back where I came from. It was tricky driving again in the snow. I saw Olin and told him all about Rockville and that I went to the top by myself because they had a tow rope and not a chair lift.  The End.

Friday, October 2, 2015

No Googe + Profile, No Comments

I tried to comment on Blogs I enjoy, but it won't let me do that now. I guess you have to have a Google Plus Picasa Profile to leave comments.
I don't want a google plus profile at all, so I guess I won't be commenting!

Saturday, March 21, 2015

Almost a Year Ago

My son turned 20!

My granddaughter was born. This is day 1!

Mind Blowing "Time"

I haven't come to blogger in a long time and not much has been really going on. Yet, I have something on my mind RIGHT NOW so I jumped over here to record it.

I have been spending most of my free time reading on the subject of the mystical union of Christ. I've been spending most of my free time watching you tube clips of "wild" and "crazy" types such as Dr. Baxter and John Crowder and Francois Du Toit. In addition to Eric Gilmour and Daniel Kolenda and Michael Koulianos. I bought a second Jeremy Mangerchine book. He wrote his second book quickly. This one is called "The Quitters Manuel." It's about doing everything from the position of "Rest," as in Sabbath Rest. 

What I have been pondering now for about 6 months was sparked by Francois Du Toit and now I see it EVERYWHERE in scripture and I can't seem to escape it. That is the subject of "time." Revelation has a mind of it's own, I have decided. The only responsible part I can have in receiving revelation is having an open mind. Yet, ironically, I tend to be a skeptic. I guess I should name this blog "the skeptic mystic." I can't seem to help myself but I question everything I hear and read. "Really?," I ask myself. Is that "real?" I'll state to myself, "oh, that can't be!"  Then I turn and think well, "what if?"  So my prayer is always "Father, keep my mind shut to what You in your wisdom want it shut to, and open my mind and show me what You want me to see."

Back to the subject of "time." So Francois Du Toit states in an opening introduction to the subject of Emmanuel--God With Us-- "Religion is based on two lies, 1.) Distance and 2.) Delay"  He then takes me on a journey to the "BEFORE THE FOUNDATIONS OF THE WORLD"  "Before Time Began"  And I never saw it before, but there it is written in the bible! Christ was crucified BEFORE THE FOUNDATION OF THE WORLD.  Ephesians 1:14. Oh my goodness. Talk about TIME! How can that be? He was crucified sometime approximately 2,000 years ago. Yes. AND NO! 

The whole design of Christ in Us was the original plan-it was from the beginning Engineered by that great Designer before the foundations of the world. Christ wasn't Plan B. He was Plan A all along. Christ in me is the hope of Glory. Christ is not the hope of glory. Christ in me is the hope of glory. Colossians 1:27.

So before time began He is there and so were we. We originated in God. We, as little Christs, was His idea all along. We don't wait to be united in some distant future and some faraway place. He is here now and He is indeed inside of us and we are inside of Him. Kingdom of God has already come, it's here. When CHrist in the flesh said, "the kingdom is at hand" or "the Kingdom of God is near,"  he was proclaimin the Kingdom was inside of Christ and here Christ was, right by their hand. 
When he went away to make a place for us, He sent the Holy Spirit on the day of Pentecost. Baptising us in his Holy Spirit. Emmanuel. God with us. God in us. Us in God.

Nothing is impossible for us. That's not really the good news though. Haha! We can laugh at this ridiculous good news. It's very outrageous. It's not so fantastic that now nothing by any means is impossible for us. The fantastic news that we celebrate is that we are there now, forever written in his book, forever in his thoughts and ideas. We are already there!

My challenges now are how to spend time experiencing the communion and fellowship of the Holy Spirit and not be lazy! I see why nuns go off to solitary monastery! I don't need anything but a cot, a bit of food, a set of clothes, my bible, and time to hang out and fellowship with the Trinity. Ah, that' sounds awesome! Now the challenge is again this time constraint on my life--the rising of the sun to the rising of the sun. It's really not ok to sit here for hours on end meditating, levitating, reading, and singing. The whole house will end up smelling like a cat pan if I do that!